On meeting my crush's girlfriend...

[11 May 2006 | Thursday]

Current mood: depressed Category: Life Well earlier today I met my long-time crush's girlfriend. That was interesting. She seemed pretty enough, but what she's got that I don't I have no idea. I wanted to say, Well, I've had a crush on Paul since 7th grade, so consider yourself lucky" but I didn't. because, that's not a very nice thing to say and I'm sure that Paul wouldn't speak to me again probably. Last night the girl in the room next to mine was crying over her boy leaving, and then when I was out smoking I saw a couple come up to the back steps where I was sitting and embrace. I nearly said, Well at least you've got someone to hold you and keep you warm at night. But I didn't. Because I only write these things/thoughts down in songs and poems. It's like karma for the soul, or the mind at least. I've been thinking about love lately. How everyone seems to have it but me. Jarvis is married, anyone I've ever fancied in real life has never felt that way about me or is taken, usually the latter. And the last time I said anything about it I ended up pissing off a girl I really liked. At least she's still talking to me tho, I saw her a few nights ago when I went for a smoke and she was depressed. She says she takes prozac to get to sleep at night, I'd never heard of that, but to each his own, I suppose. I've heard that Ambien, which is supposed to put you to sleep, if you take it and fight off the sleepiness, it'll make you hallucinate...I thought that was cool and stored it in the back of my mind in case I come across any one day. In other recent news,I've been having headaches a lot, which is highly unusual for me unless I'm sick, which (fingers crossed) I'm not. I've finally figured out that the cause of it is I haven't been on my birth control for the past 4-5 days, so I think that's the reason behind it. I'm back on it today so hopefully I'll feel better in a day or so...but bad timing as I'm right in the middle of my exams... Oh yeah, and when I went to register for my summer classes last night, the server's down and won't be back up till the 16, so now I'll be *really* lucky if I end up finding any classes that are still open by then...and in other news, I found out today that my current grade in my Media Writing class is an F. Not good. Any words of encouragement would be very needed right now... Thanks for reading. xx