Posted on Friday 21 Jan 2005
 | Current mood:  crushedI am sick to death of being lied to, used, unappreciated, hurt, put down, told 'fuck off' to, etc etc... I don't deserve this kind of treatment! I am a pawn in *Nobody's* game! Got that? I have always tried to be nice, tried to see beyond the hurt, pain, anger, jealousy (okay, maybe not the jealousy) that people have caused me, even tho ppl have lied to me, used me, hurt me, and stuff, I still try to be nice to them, I still want to be their friend (okay, not *all* of them) but I don't get it. Why am I like that? Why is it that when I've been nothing but nice to people, I get slapped in the face, pissed on, pushed away? I must be a moron or something, because I don't understand that side of human nature at all. And I know I've said it before, and its not in my nature to be bitter, spiteful, angry, and hateful towards another person, I feel like I need to close myself off to everyone, not let anyone in, because to me, that's the only way I can deal with people without letting my emotions get involved which they always end up being... I don't know. I'm so confused right now about so many things...any advice would be GREATLY appreciated! |
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